I recorded this bit yesterday for Jimmy Dore’s radio show Jimmy Dore Live on KPFK. I played the lawyer for the White House party crashers.

bestiesonice:

tumblangeles:

(via crookedindifference)

Five Secret L.A. Pleasures by Marc Porter Zasada

Every Angeleno keeps a list of secret pleasures, the “locals-only” joys we try not to share with tourists. Since KCRW listeners are like family, I’m offering five of my favorite places to sneak off and relax.

Drinks at the Casa Del Mar
This great 1926 hotel, with its high, wood-paneled lobby and elegant, slightly stuffy bar, overlooks the modern Santa Monica Beach with big picture windows. The whole thing exists in a deep, if expensive L.A. time warp. I order vodka martinis and read Raymond Chandler here.

Picnic at Pirate’s Cove
You drive to Zuma Beach, but you take Westward Beach Road all the way to the iconic rocky bluff at its end. There you park and hike up along the trail. Never forget that this the very spot where Charleton Heston saw the Statue of Liberty, half-buried in the sand at the end of Planet of the Apes in 1968. But keep going till you get to Pirates Cove, a hidden curve of sand beneath high cliffs. Arrive at low tide and tease anemones.

Chess With Old Men in Parks
When I lose perspective on Life, the Universe, and Everything (which happens pretty often), I go sit in Plummer Park along Fountain in West Hollywood and watch the many old Russian men play chess. It changes my whole outlook on the velocity of L.A. and I swear, my soul grows calm. If you prefer old Russian men playing backgammon, try La Cienega Park, at Gregory Way. Will they let you play? Only one way to find out.

Getting Lost in the Camellia Forest
Where can your small children safely get lost in a forest and have, like, Alice-in-Wonderland adventures? The answer is the Camellia forest at Descanso Gardens out in La Cañada. It’s acres of giant flowering bushes and twisty passageways. When my kids were little I’d turn them loose, telling them to “get lost.” They became giddy with joy, but I knew there was actually a fence around the whole property and they could find their way back just by heading downhill.

The Ropes Hike
But what about adults? Where can we have dangerous forest adventures? If you head up Sunset from the beach, turn left on Palisades Drive, left again on Verde De La Montura, park at the dead end, and take the trail to the right, you may, if you get lucky, locate a long, deep, sacred slot canyon of waterfalls and leftover climbing ropes (hint, turn left at the dry creek instead of crossing). A true locals-only playground. Only for the very fit.

These are all now on my LA to-do list. Except for the one about playing chess with old men in parks, because I don’t like old people.

These are great! I’ll even do the old people park one because when old people die (and they frequently do), I take their wallets.

GPOYW “with the cutest dog in the world” edition

I was cleaning up some old files and I found this on a random hard drive. It was some voice over work I did for The Phat Phree guys when they came out with their book, Look at My Striped Shirt, a few years back. It’s one of their essays that was in the book. I remember by the end of it I almost passed out because I had to read it so fast.

PICS FROM THANKSGIVING

After we fed the birds, we ate them.

Hey Chase, fuck off.

SONGS I LISTEN TO OVER AND OVER #52

“Barcelona” by The Rentals. I like how the lyrics for the song is just a list of all the stuff there is in Barcelona. Although I don’t know for certain, I can guarentee it was written while drunk and/or high.

Let’s do this LA.